Clean Car Connoisseur T-Shirts

Car Wash

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

Car wash / Mouth wash

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

The Hybrid

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

"Dr. Green...5 second rule...stat!"

Junior's Towel

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be underappreciated by your boss?"

'I see the Maids have been in!'

I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

"I want one that's going to fall apart. . ."

'Power steering.'

"A kiss? But I just brushed my teeth."

2020 Panic Room

"Why are you trying to develop a flying cow?"

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

"I can't watch this, it's disgusting!"

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

Stand Up Vacuums

Scrapyard Worker

"You haven't napped until you've napped on the hood of a '57 Chevy."

Park cleaner sweeping dirt under a statue.

"This is wonderful - a completely dust-free lab. What do you study here?"

"Clues, Watson? How can I find clues when all I see is germs?"