Clean Car Connoisseur Gifts

Car Wash

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

Car wash / Mouth wash

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

The Hybrid

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

Junior's Towel

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be underappreciated by your boss?"

'I see the Maids have been in!'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

"I want one that's going to fall apart. . ."

2020 Panic Room

"A kiss? But I just brushed my teeth."

'Power steering.'

"Why are you trying to develop a flying cow?"

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

"You haven't napped until you've napped on the hood of a '57 Chevy."

"This is wonderful - a completely dust-free lab. What do you study here?"

"Clues, Watson? How can I find clues when all I see is germs?"

"I can't watch this, it's disgusting!"

Park cleaner sweeping dirt under a statue.

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

Scrapyard Worker

'Ladies and gentlemen, would you like your screens wiped or dusted?'