Car Connoisseur Gifts

'These baboons from the local safari park claim they can get us any car part we want for a price.'

"Mr. Cruise, I presume. Star of the box-office hit 'Transmission Impossible'."

"Never mind it was voted 'Car of the Year' by car thieves."

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"I want one that's going to fall apart. . ."

'It won't start. I'll call vroom service.'

"Your car is always in the shop because it has a problem with its auto immune system."

"Good question. On the surface, it's a dainty, attractive car! But undernearth, it's nothing but guy...a touch of friskiness mixed with subtle power!"

'Awww....you got your classic car painted red for Valentines Day....really, you shouldn't have.'

The Hybrid

'Well, you got yourself in there...'

Anyone going faster than you, you call a maniac!

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

"Tune-up? I think I can bring something to it."

'You've slept with your new car every night for a week. When's the newness wear off!'

"....I'm not sure what gives you the sense of entitlement!"

'The evolution of the wheel caveman to today.'

Football anagrams: Honest John's (Answer: Seth Johnson.)

The Government car-share scheme gains wide support!

"You know how it is. Some days you like to drive,some days you like to be driven."

2020 Panic Room

Electric Cars

"Why do they do that?"

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

"I need to tinkle."

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Dog Park

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

Sailor in Car.

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!