Car Enthusiast Gifts

"It doesn't matter what you like - according to the demographics, this is the car for you."

"One he gets them in a bear-hug, it's usually a done deal."

'You sold the Mercedes-Benz to the guy who fixed our copier? For cash?'

"Try honking again."

"Wheels and an engine? Now you're talking sports package."

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

"While your salesman checks with the manager, could I interest you in a dental exam?"

Well, the car's computer say it's YOU who won't start, runs rough, and back fires on acceleration.

'Is it peasants or pheasants you're not allowed to pick up if you hit them?'

"Let me do it. You don't understand the science of defrosting."

'We've found the problem...'

Brakes are fine. You need new glasses.

"It doesn't look good. Leave it with us overnight and hope it gets stolen."

'You won't hear that funny noise anymore. I turned up the volume on your radio and pulled off the knob.'

"You drive, I'll criticize."

"Check your rearview mirror often. I'll provide feedback through rude hand gestures and screaming obscenities."

'Well here's your problem - the wheel hasn't been invented yet.'

'Would you be interested in adding a few options?'

How airbags should work.

'Do you have a cordless model'

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

'In line with our companies environmental policies all our 5.7 litre 'stallion' SUV's are fitted with energy efficient headlamps.'

'Let's get one thing straight. I don't want your money, I want your respect.'

'It's broke. I could fix it, but then you'd be broke.'

Eco-car - "We've put the exhaust on the inside!"

'Well, I think I know why you've been having trouble starting her.'

"I don't care if his father does drive a Range-Rover...you're not mixing with Lurchers"

Drive-through dentistry

'Our last cell phone call, and instead of getting us help, you renew your subscription to some car magazine?'

'Should you buy or lease your first wheel?'

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'The warranty is for the life of the vehicle but we're not responsible if the vehicle doesn't live very long.'

'I'll be honest, this car is way overpriced, gets horrible mileage, and smells exactly like steamed broccoli. . . it does have dual climate control though!'