Comedy Car Connoisseur Gifts

'Power steering.'

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

Bio Fuels.

The Hybrid

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

Gas Pedal Sticking?

"I want one that's going to fall apart. . ."

No U-turns

"A kiss? But I just brushed my teeth."

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

2020 Panic Room

'It is fuel efficient, but my ego feels crunched.'

Driving a Lemon.

Clown Airbags.

Frog rearview mirror ornaments.

"The first adult decision he's had to make is choosing between driving and texting.

Traffic sign: Right lane ends - Merge into oncoming traffic.

"Your car is always in the shop because it has a problem with its auto immune system."

'You've slept with your new car every night for a week. When's the newness wear off!'

My car is running great, but the GPS is busted. You can go nowhere fast!

Football anagrams: Honest John's (Answer: Seth Johnson.)

The Government car-share scheme gains wide support!

"You know how it is. Some days you like to drive,some days you like to be driven."

Comedy Club. Open Mic Nite. A car doing comedy? It it's like mine, it'll make funny noises!

Left Lane Must Turn Right, Right Lane Must Turn Left, Nice Try!

'These baboons from the local safari park claim they can get us any car part we want for a price.'

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

'I'm sorry, ma'am, but the Cash for Clunkers program is good only for vehicles...'

Honk honk here, honk honk there, everywhere a honk honk

"Let me call you back. They're toeing my car."

Fly driving a car with little humans on the windscreen.