Classic Car Connoisseur Gifts

"You haven't napped until you've napped on the hood of a '57 Chevy."

'...And this is a picture of when I got here...Here's one when I put on new rims...'

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

Sailor in Car.

Long before the GPS, traveling humans found their way around by using an Atlas.

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"What old school? This is my life."

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

"Do you buy cars here?"

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

'They don't make cars like they used to.'

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"You bought a 1964 Chevy ragtop Impala?!"

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

The American Nightmare.

"Ladies! Ladies! Do you wanna roll my Mercedes..."

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

"I think my dad really, really cares about me."

"The major obstacle to your big dream...is your tiny wallet."

The Hybrid

Frank and Ernie's Classic Cars. '40s - '50s - '60s. Hi! Do you have any cars with fins in the back? Sorry, sir, nothing with Fins in the back -- but there are a couple with Norwegians in the trunk!

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

'Let me look at that map...'