Sports Car Connoisseur Gifts

'You're suffering from a slight case of depression. I'll suggest to you what I suggest to the pro athletes I see - buy 2 Dodge Vipers and call me in the morning.'

"Why do they do that?"

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"I need to tinkle."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Dog Park

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

Under pressure.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Coexist. Coexhaust.

Useless add-ons.

Motor Tourism

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

Deflator mouse

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

"Tell Mrs. Pomeroy we've found the source of that strange hint of musk."

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.