Car Wash Connoisseur T-Shirts

"It's a high tech weather control device, whenever you wash it, it rains"

"Why are you trying to develop a flying cow?"

Hog Wash.

"Look the deal was 50 now and 50 on completion."

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

A 1950's Barber Shop

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

'Power steering.'

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

Stand Up Vacuums

Park cleaner sweeping dirt under a statue.

'Our dog needs a bath too.'

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

Eco-friendly car wash.

'Why do you keep watering it, Dad? - It's not going to grow larger!'

'Remember, the best time to walk on it is just after they've washed it.'

"Let it run slow. I love to hear the gurgle and splash."

"That's fine. I've learned to enjoy TV with no sound when we're at odds."

'I'm so embarrassed driving such a filthy vehicle...'

"If the vineyard needs rain, why don't you get the truck washed?"

'Ok! Let 'er rip, Harold!'

'I'm not sure this is the best way to get relief from your poison ivy, Bob.'

"Myron's doing one of his side jobs again."