Car Wash Connoisseur T-Shirts

"It's a high tech weather control device, whenever you wash it, it rains"

"Why are you trying to develop a flying cow?"

"Look the deal was 50 now and 50 on completion."

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

A 1950's Barber Shop

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

'Power steering.'

'Our dog needs a bath too.'

Park cleaner sweeping dirt under a statue.

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

Eco-friendly car wash.

'Remember, the best time to walk on it is just after they've washed it.'

'Why do you keep watering it, Dad? - It's not going to grow larger!'

"If the vineyard needs rain, why don't you get the truck washed?"

"Let it run slow. I love to hear the gurgle and splash."

'I'm so embarrassed driving such a filthy vehicle...'

"That's fine. I've learned to enjoy TV with no sound when we're at odds."

'Ok! Let 'er rip, Harold!'

"I can skip my bath tonight. I put the windows down when Dad drove through the carwash."

"Myron's doing one of his side jobs again."

"With the deluxe package you get a vacuum, vanilla scented interior spray freshener, carnauba wax, and enlightenment."

"I told you! Seeing your reflection on a recently washed and polished car's roof is the best remedy for constipation."