Car Wash Aficionado T-Shirts

Mouthwash.

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

A 1950's Barber Shop

"Hello job security."

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

Elephant cleans a car.

Decluttering. . .

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

New more powerful, furniture polish.

Bird poo decals.

"Why are you trying to develop a flying cow?"

"Now, that's what I call a skyscraper!"

'Our dog needs a bath too.'

'Being married is a very expensive way to get your laundry done for free!'

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

Eco-friendly car wash.

"It's a high tech weather control device, whenever you wash it, it rains"

'Why do you keep watering it, Dad? - It's not going to grow larger!'

'We did consider furniture, but this way is just so much easier to vacuum.'

'I'm so embarrassed driving such a filthy vehicle...'

"If the vineyard needs rain, why don't you get the truck washed?"

"We need one of the smart vacuum cleaners that warn you when the bag is full."

'Ok! Let 'er rip, Harold!'

Bob's Window Washing and Private Investigator!