Car Wash Aficionado Gifts

Mouthwash.

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

A 1950's Barber Shop

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

"Hello job security."

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

Elephant cleans a car.

Decluttering. . .

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

New more powerful, furniture polish.

"Why are you trying to develop a flying cow?"

'Our dog needs a bath too.'

"Now, that's what I call a skyscraper!"

'Being married is a very expensive way to get your laundry done for free!'

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

Eco-friendly car wash.

"It's a high tech weather control device, whenever you wash it, it rains"

'We did consider furniture, but this way is just so much easier to vacuum.'

'Why do you keep watering it, Dad? - It's not going to grow larger!'

'I'm so embarrassed driving such a filthy vehicle...'

"If the vineyard needs rain, why don't you get the truck washed?"

"We need one of the smart vacuum cleaners that warn you when the bag is full."

'Ok! Let 'er rip, Harold!'

Bob's Window Washing and Private Investigator!

"Myron's doing one of his side jobs again."