Carwash Connoisseur Gifts

Knight walks through a car wash to get clean.

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

"Hello job security."

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

'I know how you like things to be clean, so I gave fishy a bath!"

"Dr. Green...5 second rule...stat!"

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

Decluttering. . .

Junior's Towel

I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's

'I see the Maids have been in!'

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be underappreciated by your boss?"

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Your shampoo delivery is here!"

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

New more powerful, furniture polish.

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

"Why are you trying to develop a flying cow?"

"Now, that's what I call a skyscraper!"

"I can't watch this, it's disgusting!"

'Being married is a very expensive way to get your laundry done for free!'

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

'Our dog needs a bath too.'

What a nice thing to say! Thanks for calling. What's up? Jan said Twig was a terrific babysitter. No surprise. Click. But then she said something odd. About MY daughter? When she got home, their house was spotless. Maybe it was a different "Twig."