Classroom Juggler Gifts

'I'll have the decaf. Twenty-one second graders will provide me with enough stimulation.'

'First our teacher had 'burnout', then the computerized teaching machine 'crashed'.'

"I am beginning to think that my student teaching experience may not have completely prepared me for my own classroom."

'What a day! Mrs. Reed's own kids had her rubbed the wrong way before we even got to her.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Golfing Boss

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Interdisciplinary studies.

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"How was work?"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'What rhymes with D minus?'

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"So, in conclusion, I would like to say that although I haven't actually read the book, I still found it a fascinating and enriching experience.

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Sometimes I wonder what I's do without you!'

Education Guidance

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

Time Management Conultancy - Out, Out

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

Milestone in a college student's life: 'Hey! I just got my first collection agency letter, dunning me for my credit card debt!'