Educational Juggler Gifts

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Interdisciplinary studies.

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"How was work?"

Travelling

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'What rhymes with D minus?'

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"So, in conclusion, I would like to say that although I haven't actually read the book, I still found it a fascinating and enriching experience.

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Brickie's Mate

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

Education Guidance

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

Milestone in a college student's life: 'Hey! I just got my first collection agency letter, dunning me for my credit card debt!'

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

'Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.'

"Now close your eyes and go to sleep or Daddy will read you more of his novel."

Choose any combination of the words above to name your brilliant first novel.

'Who's gonna stay here and do my homework?'

The Multi-tasking Snake Charmer

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"That's his idea of multi-tasking."

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

Writer, waiter, writer, waiter.

I just can't take it anymore!

Why men hate shopping.