High-tech Juggler Gifts

"Our smart home is blowing up my text. The oven is mad at the dishwasher. The dishwasher is mad at the lights. The lights are mad at the TV. And I thought out kids fought a lot."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

Brickie's Mate

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

"If anyone can balance a career with motherhood and state-sponsored terrorism, it's Jeannie."

Choose any combination of the words above to name your brilliant first novel.

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

'Your mother and I are worried that all these video games may be having an effect on you.'

"I feel a lot of societal pressure to be happy."

"That's his idea of multi-tasking."

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

'It's great to get back to the simple life,'

Ugh, you go ahead – I have five months of emails to catch up on.

Writer, waiter, writer, waiter.

Well, I can't sit around all day - I have things to do.

You were watching tv on your cellphone while driving, and almost hit an old lady. Guilty. No more multitasking. You are no longer allowed to do two things at once. Okay. Or three things! Death of a loophole.

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

'See, I told you I can text and chew gum at the same time.'

"I try to keep my coffee buzz going till the Martini buzz kicks in."

'You have to actually exercise. Jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth, skipping breakfast and juggling two jobs won't do it.'

"I'll call you back. I'm in the middle of a make-over."

'Stop text-messaging your alphabet soup.'

Ask Sadie. My wife and I are getting a puppy soon. Any training tips? - Jay and Emily, Charlotte, NC. Sent from my iPad. Oh yes. A tip: Have him poop on your @#$% iPad, you high-tech boobs! Irrelevant and gratuitous. Sent from my lungs. You need the toothbrush app.

"Are you O.K.? You're barely paying attention to your book, phone, show, laptop, and the crossword you started ten minutes ago."

"I had too many irons in the fire and it went out."

Hockey and Cell Phones

"I'll go, but only if you promise we won't stay long."