Tech Juggler Gifts

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

The age of passwords.

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

"Slow down! You're toasting your Blackberry and talking into a Pop Tart."

"Wheeler, are you going to lunch?"

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"I just can't seem to turn the Wi-Fi off."

Recalculating

You were watching tv on your cellphone while driving, and almost hit an old lady. Guilty. No more multitasking. You are no longer allowed to do two things at once. Okay. Or three things! Death of a loophole.

"I'll go, but only if you promise we won't stay long."

Remote learning

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

A meditating man glancing at his phone

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

Balancing work and family

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

"My rise in the company was solely based on convincing management that I was a nerd in high school."

'Sometimes I don't know if I'm coming or going.'

"I'm pre-law and pre-med. That way if I foul up I can defend myself."

"Have a seat with the other candidates for the tech position but be wary of the spit balls."

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

'A career? A life? Isn't that a conflict of interest?'