Tech Connection Juggler Gifts

'I've gone from spanning the globe at lightening speed to struggling with some techie's accent over a bad connection.'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

'I need a text-mail interpreter.'

"Hello?"

Overworked

The Communicator

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

A single man has the job title of CEO, Business Manager, HR, Undermanager, Head of Division, Personnel. . .

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

'It's for you.'

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

One Man Band

"Whose idea was it to create a Zoom session for first graders?"

'Take a message...'

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

Woman holding two phones together.

Trapeze artists.

"Gotta go."

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

Multitasking.

You were watching tv on your cellphone while driving, and almost hit an old lady. Guilty. No more multitasking. You are no longer allowed to do two things at once. Okay. Or three things! Death of a loophole.

'I can't make coffee, but I can keyboard, file, take shorthand and answer the phones like a champ!'

Ugh, you go ahead – I have five months of emails to catch up on.

"Normally, we only issue one phone to new hires, but we're bringing you in at a busy time."

'It's great to get back to the simple life,'

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

"I'll call you back. I'm in the middle of a make-over."