Tech Jugglers Gifts

'It's not easy to eat breakfast, text, conduct a conference call and drive at the same time...but I did it!'

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

Information Tightrope.

"Hello?"

"All this stuff? I'm meeting for two now."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

The boss and her baby

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

A single man has the job title of CEO, Business Manager, HR, Undermanager, Head of Division, Personnel. . .

'And Fenwick, those pesky third quarter stats? Don't tweak 'em �' torque 'em!'

"Under 'salary desired', could you be more specific than 'obscene'?"

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

'Tell me about yourself. If I stay awake, you've got the job.'

"Miss Wythenshawe? Can I leave early, my brain is full."

One Man Band

'It's for you.'

'I've gone from spanning the globe at lightening speed to struggling with some techie's accent over a bad connection.'

Walk dog, brush your teeth.

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

'Applicant wacked out, suggest immediate promotion.'

Better phone upstairs for the latest figures.

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

'Sims, thought it was the data, but it's actually you that's flawed.'

'It's great to get back to the simple life,'

Ugh, you go ahead – I have five months of emails to catch up on.

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

'I can't make coffee, but I can keyboard, file, take shorthand and answer the phones like a champ!'

You were watching tv on your cellphone while driving, and almost hit an old lady. Guilty. No more multitasking. You are no longer allowed to do two things at once. Okay. Or three things! Death of a loophole.

Trapeze artists.

"I hope these reviews don't make you nervous."