Data Jugglers Gifts

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

'Well I like to think every cloud has a silver lining.'

"I figured my stress ball should match the size of my anxiety."

"No, it's no mistake. There is no out."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

"Time to do it in!"

"Hello?"

Information Tightrope.

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

The boss and her baby

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

'And Fenwick, those pesky third quarter stats? Don't tweak 'em �' torque 'em!'

Heavy Data Load.

"Miss Wythenshawe? Can I leave early, my brain is full."

"Can I add just one more project to your workload?"

Walk dog, brush your teeth.

A business man sits at his office desk with trays that read 'going once, going twice... and gone.'

'It's for you.'

Better phone upstairs for the latest figures.

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

"Well if you don't agree with my count, then you do it."

'Sims, thought it was the data, but it's actually you that's flawed.'

Trapeze artists.

You were watching tv on your cellphone while driving, and almost hit an old lady. Guilty. No more multitasking. You are no longer allowed to do two things at once. Okay. Or three things! Death of a loophole.

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

'It's great to get back to the simple life,'