School Subject Juggler Gifts

"They say they want me to be happy, but they keep shoving math and art and reading at me."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Interdisciplinary studies.

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"How was work?"

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'What rhymes with D minus?'

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

'The girls must be feeling better...'

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"So, in conclusion, I would like to say that although I haven't actually read the book, I still found it a fascinating and enriching experience.

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

Education Guidance

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

Translating . . . poetry.

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

Milestone in a college student's life: 'Hey! I just got my first collection agency letter, dunning me for my credit card debt!'

'Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.'

'I'm more unpopular now than I was at school.'

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

A Man mixing up his sports.

The Multi-tasking Snake Charmer

"That's his idea of multi-tasking."

'Who's gonna stay here and do my homework?'

'You're in Graduate School now. I think it's high time I stopped doing your home work.'