Classroom Campaign Strategist Gifts

'I'm running for student council president. Would you care to donate to my superpac?'

"Good boy."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'If only every year was an election year.'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

Debating Society. I can accept that money is speech as long as we can agree that some spending is like yelling fire in a theater.

Patrick Hendy Rodham Clinton

"With great power comes great reward."

'The bad news, Pomeroy, is tht we're giving your job to your secretary -- the good news is that she wants you to stay on as her secretary!'

The Election Strategy

Political Debate, 'I'd like a word with the debate chairman.'

Trump promises versus reality.

News and Magazines. Campaign Fundraising Heats Up. It says this election cycle is expected to break all records in the amount of money spent on free speech.

Cherchez la femme

The Wall St. 'fat cats' are going to pay for this mess. And that payment will come in the form of a contribution to my re-election campaign.

"If talk is cheap, why do candidates need super PACs to finance elections?"

Approved Debate Questions

'Wow. The anti-smoking movement really has been successful.'

Tony Blair

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

'...All profits are local.'