Classroom Campaigner Gifts

"Bad news. The press got a hold of your kindergarten paste eating scandal."

Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't

'Your poll numbers were great during recess, but voter apathy at nap time cost you the election.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

Computer Class.

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

“Honestly class, where are your minds?!”

Global Education

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

Beginning of the school year

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

"I hope that this is just a riot of passage."

'Don't you hate undergoing peer review in these high school chemistry labs?'

"Mrs. Martin is here. She's the new substitute teacher."

"But playing computer games help my. . . uh. . . dexterity, so I can do my school work better!"

School boy

"But there are no naps in the first grade."

'You always go that extra mile, don't you Molly.'

"That's my survival kit. It has a meditation tape, aspirin and rose-coloured glasses."

"I'm Billy's mother, and this is his attorney!"

"Isn't it great? I found little 'Classroom Mode' switches behind their ears."

'As it's your first day Frobisher, I feel I should warn you that the pupils can be a bit of a handful!'

"My math teacher says I should consider becoming a teacher some day."

"First day of school and you've already got problem students?"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'It was neat! - they have flat-screen blackboards!'

"The rumor is he's in the pocket of Big WInd."