Classroom Campaign Strategist Pillows

'I'm running for student council president. Would you care to donate to my superpac?'

"Good boy."

'If only every year was an election year.'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"With great power comes great reward."

Political Debate, 'I'd like a word with the debate chairman.'

'The bad news, Pomeroy, is tht we're giving your job to your secretary -- the good news is that she wants you to stay on as her secretary!'

The Election Strategy

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'Wow. The anti-smoking movement really has been successful.'

The Wall St. 'fat cats' are going to pay for this mess. And that payment will come in the form of a contribution to my re-election campaign.

Approved Debate Questions

'Remember when the worry was over little swift boat attacks?'

Trump promises versus reality.

'...All profits are local.'

vote

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'