Campaign Strategist Pillows

"You can't please all the people all the time, so you might as well please the pharmaceutical lobby."

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

"It's a good speech - just a couple of points that need obfuscation."

'If only every year was an election year.'

"I have a jobs plan! First, I'd fire all the incumbent's relatives. Then I'd replace them with my relatives."

A billboard that reads "Elect Fletcher Hopwith - Candidate of the media".

Oh, the usual...another Friday, another document dump.

'They're going after the independent vote.'

This year, I'm buying him a seat in the legislature.

"Now you kids play nice. No dirty stuff." Sure...That'll Happen.

"If I promise to take you on a fact-finding junket to Bermuda, I'll have to promise to take every voter to Bermuda."

'I have decided not to run for re-election, so I can spend more time with my legal defense team.'

Political Debate, 'I'd like a word with the debate chairman.'

Oh, alright. Fine. Romney.

"Trust me, at this point it's the only way we can boost your numbers on likability."

A church with a sign that reads "No electioneering beyond this point".

"Well, no, it's not a very big country, but then you didn't give THAT much to the campaign, did you?"

"He's coming across as Reaganish but not Reaganesque."

A helicopter campaign for a political candidate is shot down by a helicopter campaigning for a rival candidate.

"Mr. Romney, Ted Nugent is still holding on line three."

"You're not there yet, but keep going. You've got to find something the voters like."

The democrats win Georgia run-offs

"I nearly drowned and my tory leadership promotional video flashed before my eyes."

Trump's return

"2,737,134,426,901 national political spam texts"

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"Client wants a quick POV on how this might affect the Q4 holiday campaign."

"Hi, I'm Ed Stark and I'm running for Congress."

Elect Ruze: So Mean He Must Be Caged.

1880 Presidential Election- Thomas Nast's Unwillingness to Mention Credit Mobilier Scandal and Gen. Garfield

"All data indicates your numbers will improve once voters get over your yuck factor."

Obama and Romney Portraits.

'I'm a scandalous, self-serving, no conscience politician...my opponent approves this message!'

'Uou have a great image. Don't spoil it by speaking.'