Election Strategist Pillows

Independent Voters

The Election Strategy

'This is where the seasoned candidate strategically pauses for effect.'

"Sir, the latest polls. You're slightly ahead of margin of error."

Inevitable?

Vote for 'None of the Above' - A Name You Can Trust!

"Darling! Will you ride my coattails as I raise politically!?"

How to Lose An Election

Re-Branding the GOP

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

"Hal and I registered as Republicans just so we could fire Trump in the primary."

"Get a hold of my campaign team and tell them to Think outside the Tank."

"Great job on policy, but it's time we move beyond specifics and into slogans!"

Super PAC for the re-election of Senator Blort - The Bucks Stop Here!

US Politics

CONGRESS, 'It's frustrating -- you vote to spend trillions and trillions of dollars and nobody appreciates it!'

CONGRESS, 'On the other hand, wretched refuse makes VERY reliable Democratic voters.'

'I've thought up a great amendment to campaign finance reform -- special Medicare benefits for sore losers!'

'The entire campaign is focused on the undecided voters. . . all 9 of them.'

Hillary Clinton

"Well, you must have done something to deserve this."

Poll. Senator Krupt. My opponent passed me on the right? Is that legal?

"Good boy."

The president's men

'If only every year was an election year.'

Israel/Palestine Conflict

"What was I thinking?!"

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

Trump Poutine

Tariff Wars

The Greek Trampoline

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'