Political Strategist Pillows

Niccolo Machiavelli

"Look, we've got to improve our voter-tracking algorithms if we want to make more accurate wild-ass guesses."

'At Filmore holdings, we don't break the law. We donate to politicians to change the law.'

'Great news, Haverford... I've decided to let you into my select orbit of trusted friends and advisers!'

"Sure, you can grow to be president...but for real power consider becoming a lobbyist."

'Please wait here to be unseated.'

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

"Vote for me and the baby lives."

"Behavioural insights, eh? Say no more!"

'I'm not here to blame. I'm here to help others blame.'

'If there are no other ideas, then it's agreed we blame the media.'

Redistricting.

Mentoring (in politics)

Attorney General Holder has an idea...'and we will call it operation fast and furious!'

"Someday, son, all my campaign funds will be yours."

Sally, Jim - you'll handle daily speech writing. Vince, as usual, will be in charge of attack ads.'

Frank integrates the modern, poll-driven, finger-in-the-wind brand of politics into his parenting style.

'Next time, I say let's be proactive and vote ourselves a pay raise before the government shutdown.'

'The press is calling you overconfident. Stop using ‘Hail To The Chief' as your ringtone.'

"I appreciate the new campaign finance laws, but I miss the thrill of getting around the old ones."

Chicken Little for Congress: 'The sky is falling! The sky is falling!'

'You say you still had it with you when you went to your meeting with Machiavelli?'

'Supply-side economics is passe - we're now in the bait-and-switch era.'

"Dealing with Iran was the easy part. Now we need to deal with Congressional Republicans."

Tiger economy.

Puppet theatre.

If chess allowed gerrymandering.

'Sit, Mr. Smedley.'

European Equilibrium

"Didn't I tell you 'Never put anything down on paper'?"

Labour party boat in stormy sea towing Lib Dem boat

"Wave to him."

'High gas prices are threatening your re-election.'

Netanyahu caricature.

"He's moving his campaign headquarters back to Paris. He wants to be closer to the French people."