Classical Humor Lover Gifts

Passenger offering busman a cigar

"You're on a what?!"

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

When laundry ruled the waves.

Primitive magician

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Moses unblocking the toilet.

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

Peter Cook

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

The Algonquin Round Table

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

The Enemy

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

Dante Alighieri

Psychologist Birthdays

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

Gentleman discovering that his servants have been eating most of his good meat