Lover Of Classic Humor Gifts

"Oh, don't be such a pill, Father - say 'hello' to the child."

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

Primitive magician

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

Peter Cook

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

The Enemy

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

Dante Alighieri

"Surely, as the world's only superpower, we're entitled to a little mischief now and then."

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

Gentleman discovering that his servants have been eating most of his good meat

1874: Custer's Last Stand-Up

"Ordered fifty-eight days ago and it's here already!"

"Caw blimey Missus"-"He's a Carry-On Crow"

Sisyphus, 117 million years on

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

Two Soldiers and a Navvy.

'Never mind what I'm wearing!'

Man saying he does not want his ale thick because he is not hungry

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

'Shall we join the ladies?'

"I suggest you get off your tuffet more, and eat less curds and whey, Miss Muffet."