Lover Of Classic Humor Pillows

"Oh, don't be such a pill, Father - say 'hello' to the child."

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

Primitive magician

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

The Enemy

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

Dante Alighieri

"Surely, as the world's only superpower, we're entitled to a little mischief now and then."

Gentleman discovering that his servants have been eating most of his good meat

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

1874: Custer's Last Stand-Up

"Ordered fifty-eight days ago and it's here already!"

Sisyphus, 117 million years on

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

"Caw blimey Missus"-"He's a Carry-On Crow"

Two Soldiers and a Navvy.

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

"I hope this isn't the start of an insensitive joke that was once considered funny."

Man saying he does not want his ale thick because he is not hungry

'Never mind what I'm wearing!'

'Shall we join the ladies?'