Classic Humor Lovers Pillows

'You certainly have a lot to learn about making obscene phone calls, young man!'

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

Dante Alighieri

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

Gentleman discovering that his servants have been eating most of his good meat

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

Sisyphus, 117 million years on

"When I said, 'Never bring a knife to a gunfight,' I figured the spoon and fork were also implied."

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

Beware Of The Gnome - Look dear how quaint.

"I hope this isn't the start of an insensitive joke that was once considered funny."

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

'Actually, my Dad never learned to talk - My Mom's a ventriloquist.'

Laurel and Hardy police protection - "And don't worry about informing on the mob. I've arranged that two of my men give you 24 hour proctection."

Poor Walt - they don't make em like him anymore.

Goldilocks and the Three Stooges

American Gothic lol

'If anyone calls, I've gone to look for Wally.'

The Life of the Party

Officer's Survival Training

'I'm not too happy about this new identity you lot have given me!'

Cut out and keep your own Butler.