Classic Western Fan Gifts

'I'm out of silver bullets again, Tonto -- take my mask and hold up another stagecoach.'

"Redwood or oak?"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

Nun Fight.

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

Historic Bank Jobs.

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

'OK, let's see who's going to be the pack horse today: Heads or tails?'

Crossing the Nachos Grande

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

'Mama! Aliens.'

Old West Bounty Hunter.

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

'And what makes you think this is hostile terrain, Hank?'

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

Domestic Pardners

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

"When a cowboy wears it, it is a cowboy hat."

Brewery Lorry has Saloon Doors.

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'