Old West Nostalgia Fan Gifts

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

Son, you'll never be quick on the draw unless you pull your dang pants up.

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

'Roy Rogers is ambused'

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

"Trepanning for gold"

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

The modern sheriff.

"..Not cloudy all day."

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

'Yesterday he was a kingpin, but today he's just a lynchpin.'

Reality Wagon Train

"Happy slime trails to you, until we meet again!"

"There's trouble, boys. Let's pants up and move out!"

'I must warn you, I'm the fastest gun west of the Rie Grande.' 'WOW! Unfortunately, we're five miles east of the Rio Grande.'

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"Nope, Jeb's my pardner. My partner is Zeke."

"Barkeep, gimme a shot of your finest whiskey." "Not so fast there, partner." "Oh, sorry. A... sh... ot... of... yo... ur... fin... est... whis... key...."

"What ever became of the days, Béla, when we all used to dance with wild abandon by the firelight."

'It's what we were afraid of, Virgil. Someone's selling guns to the Indians.'

"If we don't find a place to charge these batteries we ain't gettin' this herd of tumbleweed to Kansas City by sundown."

"Just a minute - I'm uploading."

Early American Think Tank.

'Uh, yeah, you go ahead. We'll catch up with the wagon train later.'

"And don't ever try to use your smartphone during trivia night again!"

"Say your prayers, liturgies, Tefilah, Daily Salat, Sacred Mantra, Ritual Incantation or the secular affirmation of your choice, Varmint!”

'I'm out of silver bullets again, Tonto -- take my mask and hold up another stagecoach.'

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"

The Mild, Mild West.

Boot Hill: 2nd Fastest Gun In The West RIP