Old West Aficionados Gifts

"And don't ever try to use your smartphone during trivia night again!"

"His coffee's always crap for about a week after the MacArthur genius-grant winners are announced."

'It's what we were afraid of, Virgil. Someone's selling guns to the Indians.'

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

High Riders of the Old West

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

'Butch, did you shoot my liberty valance?'

Son, you'll never be quick on the draw unless you pull your dang pants up.

Build a home where the buffalo roam? Bah!

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

Sea Horse outside saloon

'Roy Rogers is ambused'

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

'It's okay, they're with me.'

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

The modern sheriff.

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

"Can't fool me, Jake, there's a coach comin' in!"

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

"Trepanning for gold"

"..Not cloudy all day."

"There goes 'ol Slim ridin' off into the sunset."

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

Reality Wagon Train

"There's trouble, boys. Let's pants up and move out!"

'Yesterday he was a kingpin, but today he's just a lynchpin.'

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."