Old-school Western Aficionados Gifts

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

Sea Horse outside saloon

Son, you'll never be quick on the draw unless you pull your dang pants up.

'Roy Rogers is ambused'

'It's okay, they're with me.'

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

The modern sheriff.

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

"Trepanning for gold"

"..Not cloudy all day."

"There goes 'ol Slim ridin' off into the sunset."

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

"Quit saying 'President Trump'. You're spookin' the horses."

Reality Wagon Train

'Yesterday he was a kingpin, but today he's just a lynchpin.'

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

The Gweat Twain Wobbery.

"Happy slime trails to you, until we meet again!"

"There's trouble, boys. Let's pants up and move out!"

"Barkeep, gimme a shot of your finest whiskey." "Not so fast there, partner." "Oh, sorry. A... sh... ot... of... yo... ur... fin... est... whis... key...."

'I must warn you, I'm the fastest gun west of the Rie Grande.' 'WOW! Unfortunately, we're five miles east of the Rio Grande.'

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"If we don't find a place to charge these batteries we ain't gettin' this herd of tumbleweed to Kansas City by sundown."

'It's what we were afraid of, Virgil. Someone's selling guns to the Indians.'

"I provided the comic relief and said all the right things like 'Yee haw!' And 'You got that right, boss!' . . . But he ditched me anyway!"

"Just a minute - I'm uploading."

'Uh, yeah, you go ahead. We'll catch up with the wagon train later.'

"And don't ever try to use your smartphone during trivia night again!"

"Say your prayers, liturgies, Tefilah, Daily Salat, Sacred Mantra, Ritual Incantation or the secular affirmation of your choice, Varmint!”

The Mild, Mild West.

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"

'These new bendy wagons will be handy when pulling em into a circle.'