Southwestern Style Fan Gifts

"The Southwestern look. I love it!"

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

'Remember the...um...the...uh...oh, yeah...remember the Alamo!'

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

Draw!

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

"Help! It's a sprawling epic!"

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

"Sorry, Zak, since paintball aint bin invented yet, looks like you bin shot!"

"Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes..."

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

'You're going to have to stay confined to the bunkhouse for a week.'

'I thought you were trying to lynch me, Mom.'

Sex and violence/hell and brimstone.

Gunswinger

Stainglass Windows '33

A gentleman giving some children a lesson in manners

"This cream puff was owned by a little old lady who only settled on Sundays."

"I love your shadow, it's so retro."

"I reckon we've never met, but maybe you recognize my brother from last year's cattle drive!"

'I have nothing against the old standard. But I get more laughs with the bolo tie.'

'I'm out of silver bullets again, Tonto -- take my mask and hold up another stagecoach.'

'Isn't that silly, Fluffy. The cowboy is talking to his horse.'

"Vinyl I get. This, I didn't see coming."

...and we guarantee the passage of time for the life of the watch!

Effeminate cowboy applies lipstick from a gun-belt loaded with lipsticks.

"They don't really say 'mooo'. It's more of a low, doleful, 'uuummmmggghhh'. Go ahead, try it."

They knew it was just a matter of time before he spilled the beans.

'This town ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"Redwood or oak?"

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

"I don't think the world is ready yet for a cowboy impersonator, Dolores."

"What's Your Problem, Man?"