Western Style Fans Gifts

Effeminate cowboy applies lipstick from a gun-belt loaded with lipsticks.

"Move ten paces, turn, then fire. Ready?" "Dibs on the hat."

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

"It's not a good sign when cowboys start waving back to the cacti!"

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

Sea Horse outside saloon

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

"Help! It's a sprawling epic!"

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

"Sorry, Zak, since paintball aint bin invented yet, looks like you bin shot!"

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

"There goes 'ol Slim ridin' off into the sunset."

'You're going to have to stay confined to the bunkhouse for a week.'

No caption. (A cowboy heads toward the swinging doors of a saloon as a cat goes toward a smaller version of the same entrance).

Gunswinger

Dead animal toupee.

The corona ranger

"This cream puff was owned by a little old lady who only settled on Sundays."

"I reckon we've never met, but maybe you recognize my brother from last year's cattle drive!"

'I have nothing against the old standard. But I get more laughs with the bolo tie.'

'I'm out of silver bullets again, Tonto -- take my mask and hold up another stagecoach.'

'Isn't that silly, Fluffy. The cowboy is talking to his horse.'

"They don't really say 'mooo'. It's more of a low, doleful, 'uuummmmggghhh'. Go ahead, try it."

"Redwood or oak?"

1804: Early Social Networking

...and we guarantee the passage of time for the life of the watch!

"I don't think the world is ready yet for a cowboy impersonator, Dolores."

'This town ain't big enough for the both of us.'

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

They knew it was just a matter of time before he spilled the beans.