Western Fan Gifts

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

Advertising Agent to cowboy: 'So you're a branding expert?'

'Lucky we got Clem to circle the wagons.'

'There ain't no rules, Joe. That's why it's called The Wild West.'

'Isn't that silly, Fluffy. The cowboy is talking to his horse.'

'It's just a shallow little stream, you said. It doesn't empty into the ocean, you said. Go ahead...cross it, you said...'

"That's why I'm breaking ground on a new subdivision."

"We'd never get these little dogies to Tucson without a laser pointer."

"Love your jeans."

'This town ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"You call that a mosey? That's a waddle."

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

'Custer's last hand'

"Sorry, Zak, since paintball aint bin invented yet, looks like you bin shot!"

"Help! It's a sprawling epic!"

'Isn't this better? I told you we could change things if we just stood up to them!'

"Are you sure this is a traditional war dance?"

"He meant ten paces in opposite directions."

'This old tree plays an important role here in the west.'

Dance showdowns of the Old West.

"Ever ride before?"

"This cream puff was owned by a little old lady who only settled on Sundays."

"I reckon we've never met, but maybe you recognize my brother from last year's cattle drive!"

"I don't think the world is ready yet for a cowboy impersonator, Dolores."

Spaghetti Western Justice

Custer's First Stand

'Impressive. I didn't think something that fancy wouldn't be invented at least until the year 1850.'

"Sorry we missed the heist - we got sidetracked when Roscoe selled some truffles."

One Tough Bird

"Any of you boys interested in fresh gossip for your diaries?"

"They don't really say 'mooo'. It's more of a low, doleful, 'uuummmmggghhh'. Go ahead, try it."

Old West Gunslinger Humor. What do you get when you cross an owl with a pirate's parrot? A bird that hoots from the ship!

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."