Western Film Fan Gifts

"Next Christmas, I drive the cattle, you go see Mom."

"That there's one bowlegged cowboy."

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

'It's an import.'

'It's health and safety gone mad!'

"When a cowboy wears it, it is a cowboy hat."

"Well, if it isn't the Fascinator Four."

'It says, 'White man come and we're screwed.''

Early Identity Theft

"Never underestimate the middle class."

'That's the last straw, mister.'

"O.K., coffee break's over."

American soldier from 19th century firing gun while under attack by arrows.

'I wish you played the harmonica like other cowboys, Jake.'

'Butch Cassidy meets the real Sundance kid.'

'What about high noon? Is high noon good for you?'

'EEEEEHA!!' 'WHISKEY!' 'What's the magic word?'

Historic Bank Jobs.

'Our bugler is sick with the flu.'

'Tracks of one man on foot and a fat ugly one on horse.' 'Are you saying we've gone round in circles?'

'Good thing we brought that along.'

'OK, let's see who's going to be the pack horse today: Heads or tails?'

First cowboy: 'This town ain't big enough for the two of us', Second cowboy: 'Sure it is, Bud. It's widescreen ain't it?'

Cowboys and Indians.

Sitting bull and Custer share the peace nicotine patch

"Just like I thought. Ten gallon hat and a flip phone."

"I never realised how photogenic we were."

"It's a good job them "injuns" can't aim."

"You ain't cooking with sage again, are yeh? I reckon I'm getting purdy darned tired of sage."

"Typical! One sip and he slips out for a shootout!"

"We need to find another old oak tree!"

Old West Bounty Hunter.

"There's a few employees who strayed from the herd and wandered towards the break room. I'm going to go round them up."

"I'm getting a strong feeling that something unpleasant is going to happen."

"Neat Nick!": Tidiest cowboy in the west