Classic Joke Teller Gifts

Restricted: Do Not Cross

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Shampoo.

Middle-Age Superheroes

How about going easy on the carbs

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

Your Message on Your T-Shirt: 'Do As You Are Told!'

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

"I cross the road to forget."

'Finish your homework first, Og... then you can watch the wall.'

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

Giraffe wanders into Lion country.

"It's good news, Mrs Fenton - Your laughter is no longer infectious!"

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'