Joke Storyteller Gifts

Bull Pen

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Shampoo.

How about going easy on the carbs

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

"#notguilty."

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

"It's good news, Mrs Fenton - Your laughter is no longer infectious!"

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

Giraffe wanders into Lion country.

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

"I'm glad you think it's funny."

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'

"Is this fake noodle." "Yes, impasta."