Joke Writer Gifts

"A rabbi, a priest and a duck! What a coincidence. I'm a joke writer."

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

'We had to remove the door knob---it was causing too much hilarity'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Zombie standup

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Shampoo.

Middle-Age Superheroes

How about going easy on the carbs

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"Eat me"

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

The only time cats are known to laugh.

Clown's Comedy Fart.

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'