Comedy Writer Gifts

'No experience necessary. We'll train you!'

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

'What on earth are you doing?'

"Keep talking...this is comedy gold!"

'Ring binders Direct' 'Ace Laxatives'

"I know, it's because of staff shortages."

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

'I don't have to tell you that cigarette are bad for your health.'

Major plumbing problems in the Comedy Central studio basement...

Jester

"Have you noticed nowadays how often comedians resort to cussing to get a laugh? A******s."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"Buster the First, King of the Empire and King of Slapstick!"

Doug Kenney

The laugh track refuses to work, but I can't see the problem."

"Don't deny it, you constantly ignore all the other breeds and attack us! You sir, are a racist!"

". . . and they come in these convenient little chewable packets."

"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing."

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

'I'm considering running for senate.'

Down with canned laughter.

'Oh, he's just read that he was not the only person in the world who thought Monty Python was unfunny.'

People about to have a duel see man digging a grave.

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

Spike Milligan.

'Some gagwriter you turned out to be!'

'I'm sorry, sir, but we had a fire, and I used your hat to beat it out!'

'This is the vineyard the US government started 10 years ago, with $2 billion and a staff of 1,500. No wine yet, but I hear they've nearly got a slogan.'

Man with Tree-like head on Desert Island

Charlie Chaplin

Marty Feldman

Sean Lock

'Some gagwriter you turned out to be!'

'That's him back on the booze again!'

Submarine emerges on top of building