Comedy Songwriter Gifts

I'm in a Beatles-inspired band with a few buddies. One guy is a software engineer who wrote a song about a lengthy, convoluted program. It's called the "The Long and Winding Code." The magazine editor wrote a song about checking articles for accuracy. It's titled "Facts Man." And there's a song by the factory foreman about sullen workers tightening nuts all day. It's call "Twist and Pout." You should do a song warning about the wordplay. We have one! The title is "Here Comes the Pun"!

"Woke up this morning, forgot my apple id..."

Occu-Pie Mars

Zombie standup

They're Not Just That Into It

"We only got six days of funding."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 23

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Aw, geez, is my fly down again? Why Superman started wearing his underwear over his pants.

Note Book

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

America's funniest election gaffes

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

Woody Allen

Soldiers' Ego

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

The Porkypine Pals - Moon Business

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

'Mr. Whipple, what other qualifications do you have - apart from your quite excellent Donald Duck impression?'

Yep, I started out as a dog groomer.

Frank and Ernie's Classic Cars. '40s - '50s - '60s. Hi! Do you have any cars with fins in the back? Sorry, sir, nothing with Fins in the back -- but there are a couple with Norwegians in the trunk!

An early turning-point in old Hollywood...

'This is the vineyard the US government started 10 years ago, with $2 billion and a staff of 1,500. No wine yet, but I hear they've nearly got a slogan.'

I hear you're sending Rudy to a clandestine meeting with Russian agents for the purpose of coordinating the blackmailing of the American president. What?! I am not! What ever gave you such an outlandish idea? I overheard Rudy asking Siri "How do I say 'hello' in Russian?" That proves nothing. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'my boss wants your boss to blackmail our president' in Russian?" That could mean anything. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'that means exactly what it sounds like it means