Joke Crafter Gifts

What happened to "will work for food"? Will write funny gags for food. You Fusco Brothers need funny gags way more than you need your lawn mowed.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Do it yourself books.

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

Bad Interview Technique

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Bull Pen

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Monkey Pee/Monkey Poo.

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

'He's still addressing the nation.'

'OK, I got the photo. Let's release the big guy before he goes into shock.'

"I know you're thinking it. Don't say it!"

'Can, you hear me?'

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

'We had to remove the door knob---it was causing too much hilarity'

"It hasn't been published yet. Bloody idiots wouldn't recognize a great book if it jumped up and bit them on the ass."

'Of course my wife understands me-that's why she's divorcing me!'

A woman knits from a globe.

Museum. Petrified Forest. What is the petrified forest scared of?

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

'I want to speak with you about your work habits.' 'You mean work is habit forming?'

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'

At the Laff-a-Mint

"Do I really have to add 'Just kidding' after everything I say?"

Kid, you can't go taking credit cards and identities. It's stealing. Just the same as if you stole something from a store. Yes sir. I want to be a good person. I won't do it anymore. And no freezing my assets. You're no fun at all.

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."

'Will you knock it off. Your set wasn't that bad.'

'The Raffia Mafia.'

Writer's Block

'Are we painting their Birthday Suits?'

Before Powerpoint Presentations

"It was a sweater when I began."