Joke Storyteller Pillows

Bull Pen

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

Shampoo.

Middle-Age Superheroes

How about going easy on the carbs

The only time cats are known to laugh.

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

"#notguilty."

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

"It's good news, Mrs Fenton - Your laughter is no longer infectious!"

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

Giraffe wanders into Lion country.

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'

"Is this fake noodle." "Yes, impasta."