Comical Storyteller Gifts

"I didn't exactly win it."

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

A discussion over a hunter's new horse.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

',,,And we'd really like a heart for the Tin Man,,,'

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

"#notguilty."

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

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"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"

Bull Pen

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

Old Joe was determined to reach the summit as he'd left his false teeth up there last week!

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"A homeless person ate my homework."

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation in a Freaking Gymnastics Camp and Nearly Broke My Neck,’ by Delia McConnell."