Humorous Storyteller Gifts

'And this is Ginger, from my fourth marriage.'

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

"One day I was chasing the stick, and I just kept going."

'I was warned about online dating.'

"It's where I grew up, Diane. A sleepy little town where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and blogs about it 24/7!"

'Perhaps this graph will help you appreciate the jagged mountain range I climbed on my vacation.'

"You've got the wrong number-I don't have a sexy big sister...."

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

Bird Watchers Club of America.

'Let's play house... you can be my ex-husband.'

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

"Me, I eat mostly roadkill: it saves me countess hours of hunting and stalking and leaves me time to concentrate on my art. . ."

"Would you like to dance with me?"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"#notguilty."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."