Classic Jokes Enthusiast Gifts

Look! It's the invisible man!!

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"I cross the road to forget."

'Finish your homework first, Og... then you can watch the wall.'

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

Dante Alighieri

Gentleman discovering that his servants have been eating most of his good meat

'Lion!'

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

Beware Of The Gnome - Look dear how quaint.

Buster Keaton

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

I'll bet with age would come wisdom, if only we would remember a @#%* thing.

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

'Could you straighten my little brother out? -- he has the Trinity mixed up with the Three Stooges.'

'I had a hole in my pocket, and I lost the tax surplus!'

Laurel & Hardy

Goldilocks and the Three Stooges

'Not tonight, dear. I've got a headache.'

'If anyone calls, I've gone to look for Wally.'

"I want a very moist angel food cake with an extra tight hole..."

"Two out of three."

'Just how much did you pay for this engagement ring?'

'No, I didn't know chickens can't resist a conga line, but now we have the answer to that old question...'

'I'm not too happy about this new identity you lot have given me!'

"So, why are you crossing the road?"

"They're not laughing at me anymore. They're laughing WITH me."

Where's the fire, you ask? In your eyes, officer! I haven't heard a joke that old and that lame since I stopped reading "The Fusco Brothers."