Classic Jokes Appreciator Gifts

For tuppence a pikey tells a huntsman the hounds have passed through - when huntsman returns pikey reveals he meant the previous day

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

What's an Imax cave?

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

Laughing Zone Ahead

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

'Finish your homework first, Og... then you can watch the wall.'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Florist. A vase for everything and everything in its vase.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"I cross the road to forget."

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

'I'm counter - intelligence'

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Medicine bottle - If symptoms persist, die!

Biliard Enthusiast

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

OMG.

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

Due to Global Warming Penguins have been Spotted Far from their Natural Habitat

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"Calm down! That was a massive fart, NOT a sneeze!"

Split the last one?

'I'd probably do a lot better if the teachers weren't set to 'auto-correct.''

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"