Classic Jokes Enthusiast Pillows

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"I cross the road to forget."

'Finish your homework first, Og... then you can watch the wall.'

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

Dante Alighieri

Gentleman discovering that his servants have been eating most of his good meat

'Lion!'

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

Beware Of The Gnome - Look dear how quaint.

'Not tonight, dear. I've got a headache.'

Goldilocks and the Three Stooges

'I had a hole in my pocket, and I lost the tax surplus!'

'If anyone calls, I've gone to look for Wally.'

"Two out of three."

"I want a very moist angel food cake with an extra tight hole..."

'No, I didn't know chickens can't resist a conga line, but now we have the answer to that old question...'

"So, why are you crossing the road?"

'I'm not too happy about this new identity you lot have given me!'

'Just how much did you pay for this engagement ring?'

"I'm getting really tired of having to explain myself every time I cross the road!"

HMS Pinafore