Classic Excuse Artist Pillows

'This is my little brother Doug -- Doug ate my homework.'

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

My daddy ate my homework

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

Homework flavored dog food

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

A boy and his spin patrol.

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

"But mom, I can't clean my room now. I just won the Kids Bedroom Seal of Approval!"

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

Lame Lines

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'I did my homework on my computer and before I could print it, it crashed.'

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

'I leave it this way, because leaving it this way is a labor-saving device.'

'It was productive once we found someone to blame.'